We know that positive relationships make our lives more fulfilling and happier, yet many of us have not been taught how to make them work. We tend to try simply to 'follow our hearts' rather than developing the skills that are required to sustain a joyful and rewarding relationship.  It is common to get entrenched in old patterns of relating (that are usually rooted in our childhood wounds and attachments) and we find that we do not know how to navigate the inevitable changes that accompany getting older, having children, changing as people, wanting different things, a loss of sexual attraction, as well as immediate crises, such as affairs and bereavement.

 

I offer relationship therapy to all couples, of any gender and sexual orientation.  My approach is based on a range of therapeutic modalities, drawing on Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), and specifically its emphasis on attachment theory; the systemic approach of family constellation work, pioneered by Burt Hellinger, which aims to identify the roots of our suffering that come from the unconscious forces of family systems; alongside other models and specialists, such as John and Julie Gottman and David Schnarch.  I work alongside other couple therapists using Schnarch’s Crucible approach, which brings together sexual and marriage therapy and promotes differentiation and personal growth for people in relationships.

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I can help with these common relationship issues:

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·       infidelity

·       poor communication

·       loss of intimacy

·       sexual connection

·       conflict and arguments

·       relationship breakdown

·       financial disagreements

·       coping with crises

·       parenting styles

·       negotiating blended families

·       exploring relationship and sexual diversity

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Sometimes couples know that they have reached the end of the road.  Formal processes, such as divorce or mediation, don't offer a space to process the grief and loss that often go with the ending of significant relationships.  I am able to offer you a contained, boundaried space to explore all the emotions that come up, in a way that ensures that both parties get equal time and attention.

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This short video from the School of Life describes well the basic process and aims of couples therapy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb_cnk7Bm8k